The Future, the undiscovered country that Lions fans hang their hat on to provide hope as one fruitless season melds into the next. With news and speculation regarding division upheaval, are the Lions poised to finally pounce on opportunity? Your tour guide on this journey is Miss Klee-Oh. Come with me on a journey of what may be…
-Oh the mists of the Future are clearing… I see a chronically constipated man in Seattle, he is very unhappy. He is ready to remodel and go down to the studs.
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I see another man, he like to live dangerously, a gambler. He misses the wind, but no, the Brees, he is in New Orleans.
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But wait, there’s another man, a young man who lives in the shadow of another he coaches. I see people wearing…cheese?
Thank you Miss Klee-Oh, quite enlightening, but how does this relate to the Lions making a run at the NFC North next year?
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The Constipated Man is going to try to repeat how he built his team the first time, he is going to use…what is this term…cap space? to make moves and trades to get…draft picks?
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The Gambler, he wants someone…the name is clearing…Mr Rogers? From the children’s show? No. From an insurance commercial? Yes.
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The Young Shadow, he covets a Volleyball? It says Wilson.
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The Gambler will get the Insurance man, and the Young Shadow will get his Volleyball, and the Constipated man will get draft picks from them both along with a Hill of Love?
Just great, Miss Klee-Oh. Do you see anything else while you’re urinating in my cereal?
- I see a rabid Wolverine mounting a Bear and frolicking in the Fields?
OK, I think that’s enough…
- There’s more! I see someone…Cold-well? He is joined by Fang, fang, ee oo, they are climbing aboard a Long Boat…
That’s all we have time for on this week’s episode of Big Crystal Balls. Thank you for joining us, Miss Klee-Oh, big round of applause 
, and just remember, if you’re psychic, you already know the rest 
