My wife is constantly berating me for ‘not listening’. But at least half the time she is trying to talk to me from downstairs or the other room and there’s a TV and fan on
all I hear is the vague noise of someone talking. I’m not going to yell ‘what?!’ I’m not going to get up and go to her either.
It’s become a basic rule of etiquette for me. If you want to say something to someone. Go to where they are, make eye contact an speak clearly and legibly
Set the boundary with her, man!
Tell her you love her, and you want to get it right, but you can’t read her mind.
“Not listening,” as she’s currently defining it means having bionic ears. You don’t have 'em.
Tell her, “Sweetheart, if I didn’t listen, that’d mean I don’t care…I DO care.” I want you to feel heard, understood, and taken care of. If you are open to allowing me to do that for you, come to the room and tell me what you want, so I can properly take care of you. Deal?"
^^^that should do it
That’ll get you laid. 
The deeper truth will get you deeper connection, more understanding, more empathy, more respect. The kids will see it, pick up on the habit, start treating others the same way - ripple effect will impact tons of humans. Just seeking to communicate and understand at a more honest level. If you can come at her without getting triggered, and speak in a very trustworthy energy…tell her how important it is to get it right for her, if she will allow you to…she will melt into her feminine, polarity gets stronger…next thing you know everyone is all horny and happy…kids see healthy example, neighbors are jealous, etc.
Thanks Dr Phil. You’re way more sensitive than I am. I just told her to get her butt off her big dumb blue exercise ball and come into the room so she can speak to me like a regular human being
Boom! I learned that along time ago, brother. There’s a whole lotta respect in there. 30 years married, 8 kids, we’ve literally had one bad argument in those 30 years. Lots of communication, lots and lots of listening. Listening shows respect…shows that you are important to me. In turn, she realizes that if I’m deep into a Lions game, I probably don’t care to talk about other things at particular moment. Zen.
Dr. Phil.
Excellent, made me chuckle…
8 kids? woah. that must keep you busy. We only want four-legged children with fur
Common problem. My wife claims I’m deaf.
A good buddy hears the same complaint from his wife too.
I tried a similar tactic. It didn’t work. She said if I cared enough I’d have heard her the first time. I should know what she wants anyway. She refuses to repeat herself.
My buddy has also tried similar tactics with similar results … lol
We’re expected to be mind readers and have bionic ears.
Without sensitivity, we don’t know there’s an issue. People misuse the word all the time. A ju-jitsu expert is sensitive to pressure. Mental ju-jitsu is the same.
Just trying to offer you some peace in your life, my bro. I have no attachment to you taking it or leaving it, but I was certain that someone would dig it and benefit, so I just went for it. I’m not “unsolicited advice guy” in real life. LOL.
If you don’t like blue balls, develop some sensitivity, and it may cure the issue.
LOL. Have a great night!
Yup - respect is a component of love that is often missing. Good stuff!
If she’s responding this way, she is triggered and wanting to hold onto her anger. It’s important to understand when you are actually talking to the queen, and when you are talking to her inner five year old (ALL people have one). When someone is mad, you may not be able to reach them, certainly not as quickly.
Being patent with her, and talking to her when she’s in a moment of strength and clarity. Don’t take the child overly serious. Respond with patience and love, as she is literally like a little kid having a tantrum in that moment.
Buy a copy of
The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida.
It WILL change your life.
…unless you are committed to your current patterns, in which case I would not recommend judging her for being in hers. LOL
I could speak on this for hours, but I’ll spare you. I recommend this book in print over audio. Not the best audio book.
That’s my other pet peeve. Her ridiculous sex drive. Sorry honey I’m not a machine
That’s a complaint???
Yeah man…hers, mine, and ours, we raised em all. They’re all out of the house now…18 grandkids. They kept me busy working every available hour just to feed em, lol.
“Did they all have hair of gold, like their mother”.
Niiice!
Have you tried this approach?
Hmmm well she does make good pies
Sounds like you picked a keeper. Now try not to ignore her 