I may have attended my last bachelor party

So, my brother was getting married for the 5th time and at the bachelor party he asked me to be his best man. I told him after wedding #2 I never go to anyone’s wedding, I figure the problem has to be, that I’m bad luck. Well, he pressed on and I finally came up with what I thought was a reasonable compromise, I told him I wouldn’t do it this time but would be available for the next one. We aren’t talking now.


wedding #5? this is why prostitution should be legal.


Will you at least help him raise the barn on the new land he gets from the dowry from the fifth wife? The other four wives can make fried chicken and lemonade.

‘brother jack, let’s retreateth into the small man-barn to watch some sporting games on the electric picture show box. don’t tell the wives but brother james has made his sour corn satan water for us to partake’

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The key is attending the bachelor parties, never having to plan them!

Jersey Shore Mike GIF by Jersey Shore Family Vacation

Someone needs to tell your bro that it’s not 1950 anymore, and he can sling that dick around all he wants without marrying her every time.

I had mine in Vegas, my future father-in-law decided to attend. More fun for several buddies who missed their flights than me, BUT, after living with her for 4 years it was never going to go past the point of no return anyway.

Abort mission, Abort!

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I went to a bachelor party in Vegas. Did yours involve super exotic cars and machine guns?

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You know, there are guys out there that just can’t be single. I use the, “I’ll go to the next one”, line more often than I should have to and you would THINK that these dumb asses would get the hint somewhere along the line. Then there’s the guys who have been married multiple times and have married the same woman twice. When ALL your friends are saying, “DON’T DO IT!!!”, and you do it anyway, well, it screams insanity. He’s a PhD and world renowned in linguistics, has written definitive work on how the South Pacific was populated by tracing changes in language patterns and backing it up with archeological evidence. He wrote a dictionary for the Micronesian’s that had never had a written language. Brilliant professionally, absolutely no common sense available though.


Partially correct, super exotic was on point.

sounds like a cunning linguist

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Divorced 4 times sounds like he’s not…


Yeah, and to be clear, none of them was his idea.

Apparently 5 is some sort of stopping point. I call these dumb asses “serial husbands”.