Lions Festivus 2022: It’s a Festivus Miracle!


Festival GIF by hero0fwar


Now it is time for the airing of grievances!

  1. Being called slappies for believing in this team was a bitch move made by multiple dollar store fans.

  2. Running out of beer in this blizzard.


I stocked up like I was throwing a five-day party.

Airing of grievances:

  1. The Lions never utilize a QB sneak with a yard to go. Jared Goff is 6’4. Fall down, sir. (Yes I know it’s not that easy.

  2. My boss not paying me yet for the bet I won over a week ago. I said 7, he said 3. The bet was closest to the number of wins. Even if they win out, he’s mathematically eliminated. Get your shit together boss.

  3. People who stop the microwave early and don’t hit the reset but to put the clock back up but instead just leave however much time was left. Don’t be that lazy.

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Well to be fair… microwaves are for lazy people who hate their tastebuds… i threw mine away 15 years ago and havent used one since. But im a chemist who loves to cook (not meth lol)

Sure thing Heisenberg.


Ask the Colts how that theory worked out vs the Vikings?

4th and inches from the “inches” line and 4th and inches at the 41 are two entirely separate circumstances.

I’m not Heisenberg… he is my business partner

Michael Bay Armageddon GIF

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