I’ve finally had enough. The team’s at rock bottom, I’m not getting any younger, and Kelly wants to be somewhere warmer. I’m asking for a trade.
I received an “anonymous” message to meet “McMe” down in Mexico. Sounds like a great chance to get away to somewhere warm with Kelly and the kids.
Met with “McMe” down at the bar. We had a great conversation, he talked a lot about what could be accomplished, so incredibly detailed, he’s really knowledgeable. Can’t remember when I had so much tequila, so some of its a bit hazy, but I know my preferred destination.
It happened! I’m heading to LA, and we’re all so excited! The future is bright! Talked to Sean all day long, I thought I was excited, he’s going on nonstop!
Training camp has been an adjustment. So much talent on this team, Sean is incredibly detailed, lots of communication and he sees so much. Big change from Fatty P. So thankful I’m not in New England.
First preseason game, that was a really different experience. Sean’s very detailed in his playcalling, it’s a bit distracting, and I missed a couple blitzes, but I’m sure I’ll adjust.
3rd regular season game, and we’re 3-0! This team is legit and we can go the distance. Really difficult to concentrate on the adjustments with Sean talking right up to the cutoff on every play.
Game 6, 5-1, on top of the world and the division. I’m starting to become thankful the league mandates a cutoff on that frigging mic in my helmet, Sean is a motor mouth. You’d think I never read a defense before.
Game 9, 7-2. We’re rocking out, but we need to make some adjustments if we want to sustain this, teams are catching on. Trying to tell Sean, but he won’t shut his mouth long enough for me to complete a sentence. Frustrating, but we’re winning. Still, I miss Daryl right about now.
Game 12, 9-3. The only reason we won the last game is because I ripped that mic out of my helmet during the 4th quarter and started calling my own plays out there. This guy is reminding me more of Fatty P everyday, same single mindedness, but He. Never. Shuts. Up.
Game 16, 11-5. 49ers won the division on the last game because the guy who replaced me in Detroit was in Glenn’s ear the whole game and he knew EVERY play before that Squirrel-with-a-crackpipe I have for a coach got done with his monolog in my head. Goff’s chilling and relaxed, guy must have the patience of a Saint to put up with jabber-jaw for 4 years. Lions aren’t going to the playoffs, but they took us to the woodshed today. Talked to Goff after the game and asked if this is how things were for him. He just laughed like a man escaped from Shawshank. What the hell have I gotten myself into? At least I’m back in the playoffs.
Playoffs, 0-1. We lost to the GD Packers! GD Repeat, the Head Coach I’m stuck with, just threw me under the bus during the post-game for his P.O.S. game plan! I finally snapped, his nose looks great smashed flat on his face with blood all over. I can’t believe I just did that. I’m so fired. I should have gone with Fatty P to the Pats. Everyone’s going to think I just spent the last twelve years living in San Quentin, or Detroit…
Just got called into the GM’S office, here comes my walking papers. I’m so screwed. I miss the Lions.
Shocked to the core. Sat down with Les. He asked me to sit down. He asked me what I thought about Daryl Bevell as a head coach candidate. Can’t wait for next year…
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