Don’t cook the chorizo naked.
Don’t make the full Evil version for Scandanavians, Communists or the Amish.
Don’t add CBD oil. Seriously.
Ok, now that we have the ground rules established…
One brick Velveeta, cubed. Yes it’s not cheese, no I don’t care. You want farm to table, go grope a cow.
One jar HOT Pace Salsa
One medium white onion, diced.
One pound chorizo, beef if u can find it.
One or two Cubanelle or Anaheim peppers, diced.
One or two Serrano peppers, very fine chop.
Juice of 1 small lime.
That’s your base. It all goes in a microwave safe crock or bowl with the chorizo, which you have previously browned and drained 1/3 the fat. Use the other 2/3, chorizo is fattier than Aaron Gibson during his playing days or Scott Mitchell after his.
Also add at least 1 full teaspoon of cumin and of Tajin. It’s a chili lime seasoning, you can find it in most grocery stores now. Extra Wokester points for actually going into a Mercado for it.
Add ground cayenne pepper to heat level desired. Those serranos will have a fresh heat poppin, remember.
All of that together, microwave, occasionally stirring. When nearly melted, add finely chopped cilantro, stir again and complete the micro-melt.
Use your favorite non-generic ass tortilla chips. Splurge you cheapskates! If you live in West MI, it should be El Matador chips or I will f-ing haunt you after I die…which you should look forward to since that is when the Lions will win a Super Bowl.
The bad news is I plan to piece by piece Cyborgify myself for longevity, so hope you can last until 2183. Resistance is Futile.