Dress like Benito Jones before games.
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I need a kiosk outside the courthouse that sells those
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I keep getting out of it because I travel for business. Funny story, someone was suing Ford due to a guy ramming someone and blaming it on faulty brakes. When my Grandmother was interviewed for jury duty and asked if she had any relatives who worked for Ford, she replied… My Husband worked for Ford for over 30 years. Thank you Mrs. O’Brien, you are dismissed.
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man Jury Duty isn’t shat UNLESS they pick you to be part of an ‘actual’ Jury , then you have to go to the trail-or trials in a courtroom—not always near where you live. I have been on Jury Duty about 4 times…never had to go to court and that or a trial appearance.
I served on a jury once, in downtown Detroit at the Frank Murphy Hall of Justice, yeah Wayne County. 17 year old black kid murdered an 18 year white girl he knew as part of a gang initiation. The whole thing broke my heart. Between that and the OJ case I lost faith in the American judicial system. And I’m not just talking race relations. You present DNA evidence to people without even a high school level understanding of science. It’s ridiculous. I vowed to never serve again. I can’t believe they picked me the first time.
I got picked to be on a grand jury two years ago. There were about 30 potential jurists and they seated us alphabetically while the judge questioned each in order. I couldn’t believe the bullshit excuses people were giving and the judge was accepting. One lady said she had to take care of her uncle. WTF?
I was the last one picked. Suck. But I wasn’t going to give a BS excuse. Had to go down for maybe 8 weeks, once per week. Usually lasted about 4 hours. Heard 2 - 10 cases per session. Most of the cases were small time drug offenses but there was a hit and run murder with dash cam video from the perp himself and there was a cop who shot and killed a guy with a bunch of video. There was only one semi hot jurist and she moved out of state midway through. Sigh.
Yep. Cases settled. Gave the judge a fist bump on the way out.
I’m kidding about that last part.
My mom got put on a murder trial. It was an abused spouse that shot her husband. The murder wasn’t during a fight. The woman admitted such. But the defense had some of the most gory evidence of her having the sh!t beat of her. Damn near death. The jury was deadlocked forever. She wanted to acquit but eventually everyone compromised on Second degree. At sentencing the judge gave the lightest allowed sentence on account of the brutality and torment she had been exposed to. The whole experience messed up my mom for weeks. That was probably thirty years ago and she still gets skittish about the abuse photos.
I saw pictures too. The murdered girl was strangled in the drivers seat of her car with a ligature from behind. Then her mouth was wrapped with packaging tape, just in case she wasn’t dead, and left just outside the car. I still see those images in my head sometimes. I wish I didn’t.
Some things you never forget. Been having to talk my lovely employee through the trauma of doing CPR on his lifeless mother 
Brutal!
I got dismissed from jury duty by proving undue financial hardship as a result of the expected extended jury duty. My situation had me set to lose about 15k in wages, so they told me go home you are excused.
My work would only cover 5 days of jury duty and it was expected to be greater than 4 weeks of service time.
I can. Judge was a massive Chris Farley fan.
I should have told them about my love of cow tipping…
If you live in Wisconsin… that’s a requirement for jury duty.
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He said “tipping” not “humping”.
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