So I have heard the gnashing of teeth due to the NFL summer doldrums. No news! Nothing to talk about. What can we do to keep our minds football sharp. So here is a challenge. Come up with a topic and make a top 10 list we can all enjoy. I will start. Here is my top 10 ways to beat the NFL summer football doldrums as a lions fan. Feel free to add to it:
Top 10 ways to spend the NFL summer doldrums as a Detroit Lions Fan
1 – See how many times you can go through a Wendy’s drive-through naked before getting arrested.
2 – Make a list of 1000 reasons NOT to be a Lions fan – make a second list with no duplicates – then a third …
3 – Make a list of 10 reasons to BE a lions fan – this will be much more challenging. If you are not done before the season starts just pick back up next off-season.
4 – Put on your best lions jersey, go to the local mall and randomly start biting peoples kneecaps. You will either be an overnight internet sensation or be sent to a mental hospital. Either way, you will be ready for Dan Campbells training camp press conferences.
5 – You and your buddies dress up like NFL referees. Make a list of different ways you can screw the lions out of winning a game. Send the list to NFL league headquarters. Two weeks later get check in mail!
6 – Put on a sports cup. Have your wife, friend, stranger, etc. kick you in the family jewels once for every game the lions have lost to fluke play calling, penalties, non-penalties or last minute record setting field goals. You will probably be recovered in time for the season. NOTE: you may have start on the PUP list.
7 - Go through the forum archives and find 1 post by JRlions saying something negative about Stafford. BEWARE: This will be as difficult as the Lions winning a playoff game.
8 – Watch highlight film of Barry and Fox – pick your favorite player. Natty picks Fox, for the rest of us it’s a toss-up. ADDENDUM: If Barry publicly shaves his head it becomes a toss-up for Natty.
9 – Go golfing with Jon – learn everything there is to know about Lions past, present and future.
10 – Have sex for every lions playoff win over the last 20 years – Or become a Eunuch – either way you get the same action!
