A foursome of golfers are getting ready to tee off on the 16th hole, when one of the guys sees a funeral procession coming down the road. He lies his driver on the ground, removes his hat, and stands in silence until the last car passes. At which point, he bends down, picks up his driver, and hits beautiful 300 yard shot straight-down the center of the fairway. All of the guys in his group cheer for his shot, and then one of them says to him, “I was impressed with how respectful you were about the funeral procession.” The man replies, “Yeah, I figure I should be, I was married to her for 32 years.”
After 26 years of running his own practice, a gynecologist decides he has had enough of the medical field and is going to change careers. After a lot of soul searching, he comes to the decision that he is going to become an auto mechanic. So, he enrolls at a technical school, and takes all of his classes over two years. The former GYN does great, and just needs to do his final project in order to graduate. The instructor tells the class their final project is to rebuild a carburetor (yes, it’s an old joke), and it will count for 300 points. Two weeks later, he receives his final grade in the mail, and upon opening it notices he scored a 350 out of 300. Being confused by his score he reaches out to the instructor. The instructor tells him he did everything perfectly, so he earned 300 points, and that they decided to give you an extra 50 points, because they had never seen anyone assemble one through the tailpipe.
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Chinese people never swear ah-so ah-so.
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Do you know what a pirates favorite letter is?
Do you guys know?
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The county sheriff received a call from a neighbor that old lady Smith had shot and killed old man Smith at their home, and he lie dead on the kitchen floor and she is sitting at the kitchen table. The sheriff radioed for two deputies to head over there to check on the situation. Upon their arrival, the deputies radioed back to the sheriff that everything was as described, and indeed old lady Smith had shot and killed old man Smith, because he had walked across the kitchen floor after she had mopped it. She said she had warned him over and over through all there years of marriage that if he didn’t stop it she was going to kill him, and she finally snapped! The sheriff told one deputies to arrest old lady Smith and bring her into the station, and for the other deputy to stay there until the coroner arrived. Twenty minutes later, the deputy still hadn’t arrived at the station with old lady Smith, so the sheriff radioed to make sure everything was ok. The deputy said everything was fine, and it was just taking a little longer than expected. The sheriff asked what the hold up was, and the deputy replied, “We’re still waiting for the floor to dry.”
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Seamus was already tipsy when hewalked into the pub and after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.” “Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no-good drunk!” she screamed. “Funny,” Seamus muttered, “you even sound exactly like her too!.”
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Conor is shit-faced from sitting at the pub all day when turns to the man who is also hammered sitting next to him and starts a conversation. Conor asks, “Where are ya from?” The man answers, “I’m from County Dublin.” Conor gets a little excited and replies, “I’m from County Dublin! Where abouts?” The man answers, “I’m from the Howth.” Conor gets even more excited, “I’m from Howth! Where in Howth are ya from?” The man looks surprised and answers, “From the north end.” Conor jumps off his stool and exclaims, “I’m from the north end!! Where at in the north end?” The man is now excited and replies, “I live on Dunbo Hill.” Conor yells out, “Feckin’ hell! I live on Dunbo Hill!!” The man jumps off his stool, the men shake hands, cheers each other with their Guinness, drink them down, share one last laugh, and Conor goes staggering out of the pub. One of the other patrons sitting at the bar calls the barkeep over, and asks him what that was all about. The barkeep replies, “It’s just those feckin’ Gallagher brothers; they like to drink.”
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A man is super excited to start his new job at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The man shows up for his first day, and meets his supervisor. The supervisor walks him to the floor, gives him his instructions on what he is to do, and tells him he will be back in a couple of hours to check on him. A couple of hours late, the supervisor walks into the room and finds the man putting two ball bearing into a small pouch, spreading the Elmo doll’s legs, and stitching the pouch between the Elmo doll’s legs. The supervisor yells at the man, " No, no, no!!! I said give each Elmo ‘Two Test Tickles’."
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“Y”?
It’s not the aRRRRRgh
It’s actually the SEA
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You rascal!
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Did Millen claimed that Luther Elliss is a practice player and no effort in the game ?
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Are you saying Jonah Elliss is a joke? Perhaps just the wrong thread. I’m waiting for the punchline here. 
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It’s ESPNbaby. No punchline necessary.