Us Lions fans must be able to laugh at ourselves and our team in order to keep some mental sanity. Let’s face it… we’re back to being laughing stocks. So let’s hear your best Lions jokes.
I will kick it off with a few.
How can the Detroit Police stop speeding in Downtown Detroit?
For the first offense, give you two Lions tickets. If you get stopped a second time, then they make you use them.
A Detroit Lions player doesn’t usually eat pastries but when he does… its usually a turnover.
I took my broken vacuum back to the store and they put a Lions jersey on it… now it sucks again.
What’s the best thing about dating a Lions fan?
She won’t be expecting a ring.
How do you keep a Detroit Lions player out of your yard?
Put up goal posts.
What does a Detroit Lions fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
He shuts off the Play Station.
Why doesn’t the Detroit Lions have a web site
Because they can’t string three “W’s” together.
Why do Detroit Lions fans keep their ticket stubs on the dashboard?
So they can park in handicap zones.
What do the Post Office and the Detroit Lions have in common?
Neither deliver on Sunday.
When you hear that the Matt Patricia lead Lions had an 8-8 record this year - what’s your first assumption?
8 arrests and 8 convictions… lol
How do the Detroit Lions coaches count to 10?
0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10.