Spoof - Goodell announces crackdown on Lions

Live from Jerry Jones party bus, sponsored by Draft Kings, we interview NFL Commissioner Roger “Killjoy” Goodell.

So, Roger, we’ve heard that yet another Lions player is under investigation for gambling. Would you like to share anything with the fans?

RG : Well TC, as you know the NFL, sponsored by Draft Kings, takes gambling very seriously, especially when it’s occurring on a platform that isn’t contributing to my wallet.

I see… What do you have to say to fans that think you are specifically targeting the Lions?

RG : Every league needs a doormat, a team that dependably loses. What is Michigan without Indiana? What is Alabama without Vanderbilt? Sometimes we, as a league, have to take “corrective action” to show teams their proper place.

You’re literally targeting the Lions?

RG : What’s the quaint little saying? Detroit vs the world? Well, don’t be surprised when the world hits back.

I really can’t believe you’re admitting to this.

RG : It’s literally an open secret anyway, TC. Why do you think I have the refs here with me to go over “officiating details” for the upcoming season.

Well, thank you for your time Commissioner.

RG : Don’t forget to tell your viewers to order the NFL Season Ticket, sponsored by Draft Kings.

There you have it folks, a refreshingly candid interview that confirms what everyone has suspected all along. This is TCLion reporting live from the Jerry Jones party bus, sponsored by Draft Kings.


And you may or may not know this…but Jerry Jones is a big investor in Draft Kings. That’s not shady at all. So 2 extremely powerful owners are heavily invested in sports gambling and oh yeah those 2 teams have won 9 super bowls in the last 30 years. Interesting, very interesting.


Roger Goodell isn’t just going to get booed when he comes here for the draft, their going to throw stuff at him!

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Gambling on sports vs investing in Draft Kings are apples and oranges.

Players wouldn’t get in any trouble for investing in Draft Kings. Robert Kraft and Jerry Jones WOULD get in trouble if they were gambling on NFL games.

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You could be right, it’s just shady as ■■■■ in my book. Massive conflict of interest. Jerry Jones even partnered with a Casino a few years back.


Now he’s pushing for more gambling.

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Billionaires become billionaires because they invest in things that make them money.

Agreed and this quote comes to mind.

“Wherever there is power, greed, and money, there is corruption”


what Goodell’s on crack ?

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@TCLion - Have you put out a mock draft for 2024 yet!?

Working on it. :laughing:

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Oh good, I was getting worried.

will ferrell snl GIF by Saturday Night Live

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True - also not a fan of insider trading, which is the direct equivalent of what this is.

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