Live from Jerry Jones party bus, sponsored by Draft Kings, we interview NFL Commissioner Roger “Killjoy” Goodell.
So, Roger, we’ve heard that yet another Lions player is under investigation for gambling. Would you like to share anything with the fans?
RG : Well TC, as you know the NFL, sponsored by Draft Kings, takes gambling very seriously, especially when it’s occurring on a platform that isn’t contributing to my wallet.
I see… What do you have to say to fans that think you are specifically targeting the Lions?
RG : Every league needs a doormat, a team that dependably loses. What is Michigan without Indiana? What is Alabama without Vanderbilt? Sometimes we, as a league, have to take “corrective action” to show teams their proper place.
You’re literally targeting the Lions?
RG : What’s the quaint little saying? Detroit vs the world? Well, don’t be surprised when the world hits back.
I really can’t believe you’re admitting to this.
RG : It’s literally an open secret anyway, TC. Why do you think I have the refs here with me to go over “officiating details” for the upcoming season.
Well, thank you for your time Commissioner.
RG : Don’t forget to tell your viewers to order the NFL Season Ticket, sponsored by Draft Kings.
There you have it folks, a refreshingly candid interview that confirms what everyone has suspected all along. This is TCLion reporting live from the Jerry Jones party bus, sponsored by Draft Kings.