They make it about the real deal: selfish needs… and as always I’m talking fact not being derogatory as I’m as selfish as anyone! I admit it and accept and react properly with it as much as I can
They want us to wear a mask for one reason; an honest public statement and reason…
They want (selfishness that not unhealthy) to play!! And our selfish reward is Football!!
No shaming: honesty
Today… I wore a mask - by choice - because the place I get my beard cut is with in OKC city limits and they just mandated the wearing… I hate it but I selfishly want to have a good looking beard… so I compromised…
When will I go back into the city? Not u til my Next beard trim. I’m selfish
Some real perks to masks as well …I know a shit ton of people that I would rather not stop and chat with & after Coaching my Daughter’s Softball team for years …I really started to hate people . The Mask lets you move around in a stealth like way and bail before being cornered about how Emily loved me and is starting College now…
I wouldn’t say it the same way, but, yeah… small talk with acquaintances is not my forte. I’m enjoying the ability to move out and about without being interrupted, interrogated or otherwise disturbed. I could get used to this.
I have to concur on appreciating the lack of small talk from people now. I also had some guy try to sell me something in a parking lot and it felt good being able to just run away from him.
I love good, quality small talk… saying hello with solid eye contact to someone new… a potential new friend…
We are social and engaging in conversation is part of our design… I feel we’ve lost that ability to just talk to a stranger like a friend. But I will not trust them like one. I can be nice and respectful and not know you.
Like a favorite of mine is pumping gas. I look over at the other person at their vehicle pumping hm gas and I say hi Or make a remark About the cheap gas prices.
Connecting on something similar to
Both of us and boom! I can be there 15 min talking with a new friend… lol but no phone numbers!!
Or just verbally saying hello to another jogger as I pass by…
Maybe it’s the teacher in me…
I like to get to know new people… everyone has a story worth hearing imho!!
I enjoy it as well… throughout my adult life, because of my job, I’ve had to learn how to make small talk and connect with people as quickly as possible to make them feel comfortable. There are a few “go to” conversations depending on the type of person you’re engaging. I’ve always had a difficult time with the eccentric/artistic types who usually don’t have a good sense of humor… I’m in a lot of people’s homes for work, I’ve probably been in 100,000 residences over the last 15 years, getting them to laugh and share some common ground is the best way to set them at ease. So, I’m always making small talk with a cashier or whoever out of habit now.
I am a bit of an introvert, so while I LOVE getting into deeper conversations with people I know or people in general…making small talk with strangers is downright painful for me. Like you said, its just a bunch of pre-canned topics, questions and answers. Its so superficial and it doesn’t interest me in the slightest.
My dad spent his entire life in sales, and he was a true salesman to his core. He made small talk everywhere he went, and just couldn’t help himself. He never cared WHAT he was selling. It was the act of selling that he was obsessed with. He started in “sales” around the age of 14…when what he was selling was illegal. He became an adult, shifted to selling legal stuff, and literally never had a job his entire life that wasn’t sales.
Sales is much more about selling yourself than a product… I never wanted to be a traditional salesman bc I don’t have many products I believe in enough to base my living off selling them. My first adult job required me to be around salesman a lot, as well as in the homes of customers. I kind of picked up the trade of making conversation with random people through that. Now I own my own construction based company and I HAVE to sell, sure I’m selling my service, which is 100% in my control so I can get behind my sales pitch… But mostly I’m selling myself to people to get them comfortable enough to get me the sale. I agree small talk is gut wrenching… But I usually start there and then transition into a conversation that has a bit more depth than “nice weather we’re having”
You are like me - you have to somewhat believe in the product to sell it. My dad didn’t care. If you told him to sell old Bridgestone tires that had exploded…he’d enjoy the challenge and give it everything he had. I’ve had to learn how to small talk for work as well. It was particularly a culture shock when I moved from Michigan to the south. I had grown accustomed to calling someone for something I needed (vendor, subcontractor, client) and then just shooting right into the meat of it…then a minute later once they’d confirmed what I needed…the conversation was over and I hung up. That was the culture there. But in the south it was different. Every business conversation starts and ends with small talk, and they feel some type of way if you just cut right to the chase. For phone conversations I use the weather as one of my main go-to conversations. Because either the weather is good so I can talk about how much I’m enjoying it vs the previous bad weather we were having…or the weather is bad and I can talk about wanting it to get better. Its simple, and it typically doesn’t lead into some long drawn out conversation like some other topics can. The longest conversation I’ve ever had about the weather was a vendor that was in Boston. I was in South Carolina at the time, and we got a chuckle out of the fact that it was 88 and sunny where I was but it was cold and snowing where he was. I even went outside and snapped a pic of the beautiful sunny South Carolina sky and emailed it to him. LOL I know kids are a great small talk item with people, but I just don’t have it in me to go where some of those conversations end up…unless its someone I know and I’m truly interested in their kid.
I worked with a senior manager named Bill who was from Tennessee, and I learned from him the power of small talk in negotiations (even though I hate it). He was able to de-escalate alot of tense negotiations/confrontations with small talk.
It’s definitely an art form and skill that can be honed in. And yes, kids are a great go to, especially when dealing with a housewife. Guys can easily be coaxed into a convo about sports, cars, lawncare, tools, etc… you can really play on any stereotype as a conversation starter. I’ve gotten to the point where I notice what people are wearing/driving, jewelry, walk, type of handshake, etc to deduce what type of person it is and what their likely interests or job is… So, at this point, it’s second nature for me to be overly friendly with a stranger and drum up a convo. Usually it makes everything go smoother when I can throw a little charm towards someone, unless they’re miserable prick like you who hates small talk
I found if I could get the customer emotional charged or attached To the item… I got them. The goal is simple
And the process is an art imho
But… I hated lying… or manipulating folks to get something I felt they really didn’t want.
Buying a car or say house is more of “Need”.
Buying a mobile home or motorcycle is a want / lifestyle… much harder sell as they do need it per say - they’d got to want it!
Sold Harleys for a while… and hated it from the pressure to met quota…
Loved it and still have the customers I sold a bike to in my FB…
I was fired when the sales manager realized I was not… ever… selling a bike to someone with out an endorsement… they’ve literally signed the purchase contract and crashed leaving the parking lot and sales didn’t care…
I learned it’s a thought tonight job to do and feel for anyone that does it…
I had unthinkable success, when I was in sales. When people asked me how I did it, I taught them to LOVE OTHER PPL. To me, if you love the humans, they can tell. This will only work with a product you believe in, and this is why I was able to do what I did…because I was helping them by making the sale. When I have believed that in my heart, I was a force of nature.
I learned all the “formulas,” etc. Abandoned most of it quickly. If you are going to someone’s house to love them, they will know. It quickly becomes this…
“I’m not asking you to choose ___________(insert whatever you are selling), I’m asking you to choose YOU!” I am here to help you and love you, and if you love yourself, and you trust yourself, get honest with yousreslff, you know this is right for you.
D o n e! I had unthinkable numbers with this lifestyle (not approach). This is why I’ve always had an amazing amount of love in my life. Clients are fucking family, by the time I get done.
I feel like the most loved human on the planet, for real.
If it is in your budget, and it TRULY makes your heart happy. You are worthy and deserving, I promise you that. Are you buying it to feel important? Are you buying it because it fits your body well, handles amazing, keeps you safe, is fun? Can you afford it?
Everyone does this stuff for different reasons. I’ll have the exact vehicle I want, eventually. I am worthy, deserving, supported by the universe, and you can bet your ass I’ll eventually honor myself in that way. Right now, I have much bigger fish to fry.
If you are a good man, it is literally good for the rest of the world to see good guys succeed, especially when you are helping others.
Go buy your car, buddy. If it’s the best way to honor you and your wife, and it is the right fish to fry at this time in your life - go for it!
Glad you are back, my man. You are easily one of my favorite posters.
I set up an appointment to go check out the S5 I was eyeing, next week on Monday. Today I was killing time so I stopped into another dealer to check out a BMW M3 I’ve been meaning to drive. Out of nowhere I fell in love with a 5 series they had, and bought it.
Nice… I like the exterior color. Germans make some solid luxury vehicles… I’ve always wanted an Audi, if I was in the market for that type of vehicle, that’s where’d I’d look.
