What are the tabloid headlines here?

The War Room
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What are the tabloid headlines going to be?

Intersexted? Dick-picked off? Offensive Puss Interference?

And can you imagine his target share if Brett Favre was his QB?

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Too much bad Juju

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Was probably texting Iran

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dear god no GIF

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Ju Ju say “check out Deez nutz.”

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Wonder if he’s sending it to Robert Kraft so Bob can add it to his massage parlor quiver.

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Cullen bro…coach Cullen!

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Let he who has never naked Drive-thru’d cast the first stone.

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Exactly…Amatuer

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Size Matters GIF by Travis

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Driving JuJu replay confirms that he was stopped short of his destination.

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I kid you not, when I started looking his scouting report up I got an ad displaying “HISCOX Business Services” on the page. Of all the times and all the places…

Now to his “relevant” tabloid scouting report notes:
Strengths:

  • Run-after-being-caught skills (more like Cam Sutton than Rashee Rice)
  • Extremely physical (could also be a weakness!)
  • Red-zone weapon (eye of the beholder)
  • Wins 50-50 (TMI, also, this is sad for him)
  • Good hands (as needed)
  • Long arms (as needed)
  • Gritty (whatever that means)
  • Strong (but don’t pop a blood vessel, ok?)
  • Experienced and successful (not necessary)
  • Blocking ability (what kind of blocking?)
  • Ready to contribute (most important)

Weaknesses:

  • Could struggle to separate (lots of fish in the sea I guess?)
  • Not a deep threat (something to keep to yourself, bro)
  • Has to maintain focus (don’t we all?)
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Drive-Thru Flirting GIF by Studios 2016

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Stop it… now I want a Triple Baconator and a frosty… Must resist. Don’t give in. Where are my pants again? :laughing:

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Aren’t the phrases “exposed himself” and “Snapchat” redundant? I thought the whole point of that platform was for kids to send each other wiener and boobie shots.