So I just had a(nother) thing happen to me that makes me feel old: I injured myself in my sleep.
Slept wrong, and ended up likely pinching a nerve in my elbow. I cant straighten my right arm, or lift anything with it unless I want some extreme pain.
Funny enough, I ended up twisting my right knee just taking a step forward. All I need is some ankle pain and my right side is complete!
So what are some things that happen that remind you of your age? Or maybe your first realization?
I get sore coaching.
When my wife is acting frisky and I would rather watch football.
In the last year our 7th and 8th great-grand child were born…
One thing that still freaks me out is when I squat down to line up a putt on the course and I stand back up, both of my knees snap.
Snap? At least you can still get down there…LOL
Snap, crack, pop… Your choice of cereal cartoons lol
I often think about how I’m still mobile and athletic enough to catch myself and not fall when I stumble or slip on ice and how when I’m older I’ll inevitably die from something simple like that after my suddenness leaves me. I’ll be a snow bird when that time comes.
I have only one grandchild. 
My daughter turned 30 today…
Do you want to know what’s terrifying? You could roll over wrong in bed and you could internally decapitate yourself. Sweet dreams.
You know you’re old when the Hawaiian, Jamaican, and Columbian you’re referring to are coffee’s.
Nothing good follows.
Haven’t been able to trust a fart for a couple of years now.
Once one of those bad boys goes 3D on you, you get a little gun shy.
When I hurt my nuts just getting into my truck.
When I was in 6th grade, I went down to Fort Lauderdale for a vacation with my Dad. My Aunt had a condo right on the beach in Hollywood. There were of course a lot of old people there.
One day I saw this geezer about 90 years old bend over on the beach. He was about 10 feet in front of me. His sack fell out of his shorts and hung down to about his knees. I about threw up right there. I was scarred and I probably turned pale. I had never seen anything so disgusting. I ran back into my aunts condo and didn’t say a word.
I had no concept of aging and what gravity can do to a guy.
Now I am starting to get an idea.
How about jumping out?
Body - My body is aging pretty well, so I can’t complain there. For the last 6 months I’ve had to do about 10-15 minutes of cardio to get warmed up to lift. That’s new. I used to be able to just stretch and then use the weights to warm up with. For the last 2 months I’ve noticed that my knees don’t feel right. Its hard for me to explain because its new, but I’m thinking you guys already know what I’m talking about.
Mind - I have no idea when it happened, but when I’m watching TV shows or movies from when I was younger…I no longer identify with the kid like I did. Now I identify with the parents. In short, I thought the parents were being ridiculous and the kid was awesome…now I look at the same shit and say “well its understandable why the parents would react that way, the kid needs to blah, blah, blah.” LOL
Music - I remember being at a small bar with my wife, and it had a dance floor. The college kids were on the dance floor for the entire hour we were there. I had no interest in their music, but they seemed to love it. We got up to leave and right before we hit the door, they DJ put on the Ruff Ryders anthem. Me and my wife looked at eachother like “oh shit!” Then we turned around to stay for the song, possibly jump around on the dance floor with the kiddies for a bit. We turn around and the entire dance floor was clearing. I bet those kids were thinking “this old people music?” LOL
Habits - I recently started doing something I thought I’d never do in life…walk around the gym lockerroom butt naked. It happened so damn naturally I didn’t even notice I was doing it at first. It started with a quick trip here and there, and has expanded since then. I’ve got to fight this one back. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna be the old guy standing butt naked in front of another butt naked old guy, having a conversation while our damn towels are draped over our shoulders!
Weird pain that comes out of nowhere than disappears relatively quickly.
When you take a nap between the time you wake up on Sunday and the time the Lions pregame show comes on at 10am.
I seriously wake up on the weekends way too early, ask myself “what the F are you doing?”, then spend an hour putting in bets for the day. Drink a couple cups of coffee, eat something, then take a nap at like 9. When I retire, I am fully prepared to be that idiot who gets up by 5am for no damn reason.
Small side story…
I was working with an older guy (66 years old) who had retired around 60 and came back to work for this specific project. He had the same habit every day. He’d wake up at 4am, drink 3 cups of coffee while reading, take a shower and then head to work around 6am.
On this day he did his normal routine. Drink 3 cups of coffee, reading, then took a shower and got dressed for work. Total autopilot mode. Then he looks at the clock to see what time it was. It was 11:30pm!!! He had gone to sleep and must have woke up between 9-10pm. He just assumed it was morning so he went right into prep mode. Now its midnight, he’s wired up on caffeine and his work day doesn’t start for another 6 hours!
Pdono’s share reminded me of this.
I was at a really great brunch once at a resort, it looked out over the beach, they served mimosas complimentary…really nice place.
We were one of the first people to arrive, so it was still really quiet. Just us and one really elderly couple dressed up in really nice clothes. We took our plates to the buffet and got started. My wife got her plate, and the wife of the other couple got her plate so they had both sat down.
The old man husband was still across the room from me getting food. I was standing at the omelette station with the omelette chef chatting while he made my omelette. We both heard a noise and we knew exactly what it was when we heard it. It was the old man farting At first I just tried to ignore it, you know…it happens. But thing about the fart was that it just kept on going and going the entire time he walked over to us. Just when you think it ended it would start back up again. Me and the omelette guy shot a look at each other as this is going down, and as the old man approaches he winks at us! The fart must have lasted 20 seconds or so but it seemed like an eternity. Me and the omelette guy just grinned and acted like no big deal…to be polite. And It dawned on me that this old man wasn’t trying to be rude, he just had no control over his innards. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen and he was just like " fuck it what are you gonna do?
So I guess the morale of the story…it could always be worse?