That one never gets old.
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Neither does this one…
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That one will keep the stoners occupied for a week.
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We prefer to be called the THCbq community.
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What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
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What do you call a cow with 4 legs?
A Packers fans wife 
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But if you buy more marijuana online when you were stoned… You might actually have more marijuana. 
It is known.
this one got me. rings so true
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A man is driving down the highway, when a state trooper pulls a u-turn, flips on his lights, and initiates pursuit. The man sees the trooper in his review mirror, and begins to accelerate. The man has now topped out as fast as his car can go, and the trooper is right on his tail. Finally, the man gives up, pulls over to the side of the road, and shuts his car off. The trooper approaches the car, and orders the man to put down his window. The man complies, and the trooper asks, “What in the hell were you doing fleeing from me!” The man in tears replies, “My ex-wife left me three years ago for a state trooper. I thought you were trying to give her back.”
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I got pulled over in Missouri and had a cop walk up and go thru the routine. Every time he asked me a question my girlfriend kept asking what he said and I told her. Finally, the cop sees I’m from IOWA and says, “You knew the worst ■■■■ I ever had was in IOWA.” So she asks me again what he said so I told her, “It seems like the cop thinks he knows you.”
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So, I went to the bar last weekend with a group of my buddies, and across the bar I saw the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen sitting with her friends. I told my buddies I was going to take my shot. I walked across the bar, straight up to her and said, “You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Can I get your number, and maybe we can get together for dinner sometime?” She started laughing and said, " The only way for a woman like me to ever go out with a man like you is if you have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in your bank account, and seven inches in your pants." She and all of her friends started laughing at me standing there. I waited for the laughter to subside and told her, “For your information, I don’t have ‘a Mercedes’ in my garage, I have two Mercedes and a Porsche in my garage. And, I don’t have ‘a million dollars’ in my bank account, I have several million dollars in my bank account, because I own my own multimillion dollar business. Finally, I don’t care how beautiful you are, I’m not cutting off three inches for anyone!”
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I might get yelled at for this one, but I strongly believe that tragedy + time = comedy.
Have you heard about the last pizza delivery to the World Trade Center? It was two large plains.
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I was heading to the store and my wife said that I should grab some of those pills that will help me get it up.
So when I came home I handed her a bottle of diet pills.
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Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, and Richard Nixon are all aboard the Titanic when it hits the iceberg and begins to sink.
Carter: Save the women and children!
Nixon: F—k the women and children!
Clinton: Do we have enough time?
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