What’s the difference between pirate treasure and a missing escort?
You won’t find any pirate treasure buried in my yard.
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Did you know that JFK Jr. didn’t even bother to shower before he piloted his flight that cost him his life???
He figured he’d wash up when he arrived…. 
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Sure, another Kennedy theme. You know why it took Ted 12 hours to report his accident? Have YOU ever tried to dress a woman underwater? I’m an independent and I can make that door swing both ways but if it’s crossing a line please remove.
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How did they find out Christa McAllie had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders on the beach.
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A man visiting Madrid went out to dinner. He saw a restaurant near a stadium famous for bullfighting that promised steaks made from the day’s vanquished. He went in and ordered one, and found it better tasting than any steak he had ever eaten. The man asked his waiter if there was something special about the farm where it came from. The waiter replied “He was not from a farm, Señor. He was born right here, in Madrid.” The man was confused. He asked how anyone could be raising cattle in the middle of this huge city. The waiter laughed and patted him on the shoulder “Señor, the bull does not always lose.”
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Had a nice weekend, went cycling 
with my good buddy @stephenboyd57 on Saturday.
Can you guys explain to me why he has his bike seat vertical instead of horizontal?
Anybody have any idea why i didnt understand
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What do you call a blonde who is standing on her head?
A brunette with bad breath.
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Do you know what color her eyes were? Blue. One blew this way, and one blew that way.
I feel bad even posting it, but remember Natty started it! Lol Oh, the old jokes from high school.
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Was going great until we hit those pot holes! 
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Three sailors run into a storm, and are knocked off course. The eventually find themselves marooned on an island. They begin exploring, and stumble upon a tribe of the island’s natives. The natives capture the sailors, and tie each of them to a tree. The chief approaches the three men and tells them, " You will be killed, your flesh will be peeled from your bodies and used for canoes, your muscle and organs will be cut away and used to feed our dogs, and your bones will be used as tools." The men begin screaming, and begging to be let go. The chief stands quietly for a moment, and eventually tells them, “These things will happen, but we will allow you to choose your own method of death.” The first sailor thinks about it and says, “I would like a knife.” He is given a knife, and slits his own throat. The second sailor, thinks about it and says, “I also would like a knife.” He is given a knife, and slits his throat. The third sailor takes a very long time thinking, and eventually says, “I’d like a fork.” The chief stares at him and repeats back to him, “A fork?” The sailor says, “Yes, I’d like a fork.” The chief honors his request, and hands him a fork. The sailor begins stabbing himself all over his body and screams out, “■■■■ your canoes!”
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As if Natives on a deserted island have forks! Lol
Also they gave the other dudes knives… Go down swinging. Take a couple out before you die. Amateurs.
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My wife’s favorite joke. However, her punch line is, “try to make a canoe out of this!”
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Ask for a machine gun and take them all out
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If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, what do two women need to get married?
A liquor license.
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A man goes to see a psychiatrist. He walks into the office and says, “Doc, I’m not sure what’s happening, sometimes I think I’m a wigwam and sometimes I think I’m a teepee. What’s the matter with me?” The psychiatrist replies, “Isn’t it obvious? You’re too tense.”
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A drill sergeant was marching his recruits in formation. An officer came up with a serious look on his face and whispered into the sergeant’s ear,
“I just received word that both of Thompson’s parents were killed in a car accident. I don’t know how to tell the poor kid.”
The sergeant replied “Don’t worry Sir, I know how to soften the blow.”
He turned back to his recruits. “Company! All recruits with living parents take one step forward… As you were, Thompson!”
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🫶🏼
Fire 
I’m stealing this
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This isn’t strictly a joke, but I see an excuse to play this amazing clip since we already have Fozzie.
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@Phunnypharm if things go south with your gig as Roary
There’s always a fall back option for you. New gig just opened up
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I’ve always thought Roary was Espnbaby! I may be mistaken but I doubt it.
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