Seems right…
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Just for you @Bols 
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A guy is driving down the road when he sees a sign in front of a house that reads, ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’ He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.
“You talk?” he asks.
“Yep,” the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says “So, what’s your story?”
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the constant travel really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
“I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
“Ten dollars,” the guy says.
“Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??”
“Because he’s a ■■■■■■■ liar. He never did any of that shit!”
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Mickey and Minnie Mouse went to a therapist for their marital problems
The therapist says, “Mickey, you and Minnie are married. You can’t leave her, because she acts crazy.”
Mickey says, “Doctor, I didn’t say she acts crazy! I said she was ■■■■■■■ Goofy.”
Oldie, but a goodie!
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A woman decided to buy her husband something really special for his 50th birthday- a parrot. She went to the pet shop to pick one out. She noticed a stunning blue and gold macaw that was half the price of the other birds. She asked the shopkeeper about it.
“That’s Rex. We are selling Rex cheap because he used to live in a brothel and picked up some salty language over the years. You probably don’t want him.”
The woman didn’t care. She figured that he could always learn new things to say. She paid the shopkeeper and left with Rex in his cage.
At the husband’s birthday party Rex sat in his cage with a blanket over the top so he wouldn’t spoil the surprise. Everyone was having a great time and the woman decided now was the time for the big present. She yanked the blanket off the cage and shouted “Happy birthday George!”
Rex woke up and looked around at all the guests. “Different room, different girls, same old George!”
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What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken.
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Ohhhh, that’s a good one.
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Keep the jokes coming fellas. This thread is a den classic. So many good laughs.
I’ve already stolen a few and used them. Christopher Walken is gold.
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What does a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
They both have wet noses.
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What’s the difference between a proctologist and a gynecologist?
About half an inch.
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Can someone be so kind an explain this joke to me
I’m special
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Christopher Reeve was crippled…couldn’t walk.
Is that enough to make the connection?
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Thanks Bols lol
You guys are wilddddd
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Haha if you guys can’t fiigure that one out… i have no rebuttals.
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They’re both named Chris. Duh.
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These aren’t dad jokes.
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So it’s not bc Christopher Reeves had less cowbell?
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