Hey brother, I’m all about filet mignon and a good ribeye.
But sometimes I want a Big Mac or McTriple.
Can’t eat the same meal everyday !
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But if she was pulling… You clearly were super small 
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What’s the difference between Mordor and the Capitol Building?
One does not simply walk into Mordor.
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Took me way longer than it should have for the synapses of the brain to work on that one. Nice job.
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Can she rush the passer though!? 
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This isn’t a pure “joke”…. but I got a good laugh from people this weekend.
I often get a good chuckle from some people’s names….
such as a guy named Richard Fitzwell…
if you know what I mean.
Obviously… the “joke” here is that some guys named Richard go by the name “Dick”.
Well… after some joking around about names…
I had a younger co-worker ask me…
“How do you get “Dick” from “Richard”???
.
.
I responded bluntly…. “I don’t”. 
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How about the pitcher for the Mets… Richard "Dicky"Lovelady
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Whitest Kids U Know Polite War skit.
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This is more a story than a joke.
One of my high school teachers worked in The Pentagon back when he was in the military. His unit was responsible for developing and doing initial analysis of photography taken over the Soviet Union, including photos taken by the legendary SR-71 Blackbird. For much of its career the SR-71 was effectively impossible to intercept because it would be in and out of Soviet airspace well before a surface-to-air missile could reach it. This really pissed off the Soviets because they could detect it and do nothing to stop it. One of the photos brought back from had F U C K Y O U spelled out on the ground with large white objects. Obviously, the analysis team loved it. They requested permission to blow up the picture and cover a wall with it. That was a hard no from from the higher ups.
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A man is attending the Super Bowl, when he notices an empty seat. Thinking this to be strange, the man asks the guy sitting next to the empty seat if he knows who sits there.
The guy replies, “Well, I bought two tickets for my wife and I a long time ago, but she passed away.”
The man asks, “Couldn’t you have brought someone else?”
The guy answers, “No, they’re all at the funeral.”
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Canadians!
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My son would love this joke but then request the relating germ replication formula.
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So, you think Jake and Prince are related?
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