Probably @Bols house.
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Guaranteed! 
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Buy her chocolates and she gets fat.
Buy her flowers and they die the next day.
Buy her expensive jewelry, go broke.
Buy her clothes but she can’t fit into them, see chocolate above.
Buy her fitness equipment, get slapped.
You can probably see why I’m currently single! Lol
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My wife’s got it down. She buys herself what she wants for the big occasions then tells me what I got her.
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Good approach. I’d get slapped for a lack of creativity and thoughtfulness.
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It’s highly thoughtful though. I’m sparing her the suffering of receiving bad gifts.
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Bad gifts is the worst for sure. Like Christmas morning and you are hungover from Xmas eve and you have to pretend to like dumb shit your cousins give you so they don’t feel sad. Painful. And if it’s clothing they want you to try it on. Oh the pain
Gift cards, stick to gift cards!
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I bought my wife a casket for mothers day and told her that I would buy her flowers after she uses it.
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Some of the shit that’s really funny to me is just real world situations that take on a kind of Seinfeldian context…
Like, I have been working a lot and letting my fitness slack as a result.
So, I decided I was going to do a 10k hike up the mountain that’s available to me just walking out my door down here in CR. It’s 2.5 hrs up and down and the goal was to do it 10 days straight and so hike 100k in ten days, including 50k uphill with a pretty significant overall rise.
The thing is, the last 2.5k up goes through a privately-owned rainforest reserve that, ostensibly, requires you to register and pay an entrace fee. The first time I went in with a friend I had no idea, she didn’t tell me. But then realized it later. I started doing the hike every Saturday morning. And then the last ten days each morning before sitting down to work.
I have become well known to the extended family who runs it. I just started realizing who they all are and how they are related. They were very tolerant of me, there’s a sort of ethos that this gorgeous rainforest reserve, while privately owned, is a gift from God. So, they never say anything and actually enthusiastically greet me and the trail keeper asks me about downed trees etc.
But these last ten days… well. One of their dogs has taken to following me up and through the reserve, which is cute. He waits for me and then up we go. But, when he follows me down he wants to stay with me and follows me all the way down to my house and then is lost. So I have to manage that.
It got to the point during the ten hikes that they are expecting me and we’re co-managing how to handle the dog not getting lost. All the while I am not registering or paying the entrance fee (I will make a donation when I leave the area in a couple of weeks).
So, they must be wondering… who is this guy? Is he going to be doing this every day now? What the hell.
Costa Ricans are very chill and non-confrontational, but I do wonder what their private conversations about this might have been. Again, a sort of Seinfeld thing in my mind.
Maybe this isn’t amusing to others. It is to me. It’s like I’ve joined their family but they don’t even know my name. But I know many of them, their names and roles in managing the preserve, the amenities, restaurant etc.
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Smart Woman and husband.
My wife has three different Amazon wish lists.
High priority, you ■■■■■■ up buy something expensive
Medium priority, I did something, she just doesn’t know it yet list
low priority, I remembered your birthday/anniversary or paying interest on the above
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Two ropes walk into a bar, they sit down, and ask the bartender for a couple beers. The bartender replies, “We don’t serve ropes. Now get out of my bar!”
The ropes walk outside, complaining to each other about how they were treated. The first rope begins to twist himself around and around until he gets himself all wound up, then he reaches up and begins pulling at his hair until it is really messed up.
The second ropes asks, “What are you doing?”
The first rope responds, “Just watch this.”, and he walks right back into the bar.
As he walks through the door the bartender yells, “Hold it right there! Aren’t you one of the ropes that were just in here?”
The rope replies, “Nope, I’m afraid not.”
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So spot on. I have commented on this social condition multiple times to my wife and a few friends. That and certain lexicon that has taken off. Funny stuff.
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As if…
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Yeah, I hate to bag on kids because they’ve kinda gotten screwed by the world they’ve been given. However, I have met so many young ladies in the wellness community in CR who call each other Goddess and some talk just like this.
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Why did Ernst Röhm join the Mexican Mafia? He heard all of their foot soldiers talking about S.A.
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A man goes to the doctor for his first prostate exam. The doctor puts on a glove, squirts some lube on his finger, and tells the man to turn around and drop his pants. The man turns around and drops his pants.
The doctor leans forward and whispers, “Try not to get an erection Larry.”
The man looks over his shoulder, and says to the doctor, “Ummm… my name isn’t Larry.”
The doctor says, “Yeah, I know, I’m Larry.”
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